Thursday, 3 December 2009

Ultimate Twister Destiny Duels #3

I think it's about time for another showdown!

This time, broaden your horizons as we imagine a high-stakes Twister battle between...


Mr. Bean... the epitome of clumsiness, takes to the mat. What will his strategy be? Well, having done lots of research last time I was sick I have a good idea of how his mind works. Mr. Bean is a master of the underhanded trick, whether it be shunting a Reliant Robin out of a parking space or tipping a vase of water into a kids lap to distract him and steal his Batman comic. How will this work out in the Twister arena? I would not be surprised to see various lubricative fluids mysteriously finding their way onto the playing field.

Mr. Blobby... the epitome of blobbiness, plays a psychological game. Let's face it, he is neither svelte nor lithe, and will struggle to manage a full stretch. He starts with a distinct disadvantage. However, the gelatinous giant employs several tactics designed to weaken the opponent's constitution. Firstly, Mr. Blobby's very appearance is, to be blunt, sickening. Stare too long at that pink and yellow polka-dot pattern and anyone would come over all giddy. Secondly, there's those big ol' eyes, capable of freaking out the most stable competitor. Lastly, he utilises a terrifying war-cry to totally unnerve his enemy. Who would not shudder at the hideous wail of BLOBBY BLOBBY BLOBBY!

It looks like Mr. Bean has met his match. What else does he have up his sleeve? Hopefully a pair of sunglasses and some earmuffs. With these reliable tools he might just be able to withstand the mental onslaught from his pink adversary. With two very tactical duellers, the loser may well be the one who makes the first mistake. Although mistakes are usually Mr. Bean's forte, I don't think he should be underestimated.

My prediction: Victory to the Bean.

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